Youtube is filled with life coaches. Many of them bathing in the narratives of their own success.

“I was down and out. Nobody believed in me. Then — I started working out.”
Lambo.

The world was against them. Then they rose from the ashes.

Martyrdom: it’s a common trope.

We’ll set aside the extravagant fees these guys charge. We’ll ignore the fact that many of them don’t even own the cars they are posing in front of. We can even disregard that they aren’t living the lives that they’re selling.

Doesn’t it bother you just a bit that everything they are promoting revolves around wealth? Happiness, achievement, security, contentment — everything we seek, suddenly attached to shiny objects. That kind of marketing preys on people’s insecurities.

Do you really want to worship an avatar built on tacky sports cars and jewellery? You already know those things won’t make you happy.

Every flashy car you buy will be one-upped by the guy down the street. You’ll be outshined by the person with a slightly nicer watch. It is an endless game of escalation. But, hey, if you truly need a car that will break the sound barrier — have at it, 007.

To the rest of you, remember: Seeking status and looking rich is an expensive game to play. Participation isn’t required.

The men and women I know who have all of those fancy things aren’t any happier than regular folks. Typically, it’s quite the opposite.

Take it from a guy who has nothing to sell you: there are healthier models for happiness and contentment. Skip the status game.

An Overblown Party

We invited our extended family.

We had a live cover band, high-end catering, a harpist. In total, we spent more than $20,000 on our wedding. Thousands more were spent on a ring.

The wedding lasted one night. Today — we are no longer married.

The ring is now useless (to me at least). This isn’t a knock on my ex. We are fine. I wish her the very best. I’m just pointing out that, in a country with a 50% divorce rate, we might be spending too much on weddings.

Not only is it illogical, but it also puts a lot of pressure on couples. Or maybe it’s illogical for two people to stand in front of a crowd and vow to spend their lives together. Forgive my cynicism.

I want you to be happy. I want your marriage to last. If you want your dream wedding, have at it. Just remember: we tend to be most disappointed with the things that we attach high expectations to.

Your wedding should be about love. It shouldn’t drain your soul. You shouldn’t be crying every day from stress and taking out loans to finance it.

Your wedding should be about love. It shouldn’t drain your soul. You shouldn’t be crying every day from stress and taking out loans to finance it.

If you want to spend a fortune on this endeavour, I’d spend it on the honeymoon instead. Your money will go much further. And it will be a lot more fun.

There’s a damn good reason that second weddings tend to be less expensive.

The Negative Power Of Extensions

I have a dishwasher to run. There’s also a pile of clean clothes that I need to fold (I despise folding).

However, I did the important things that needed to be done: I exercised, did lawn work, and I’m getting my writing in now.

Procrastination isn’t always bad, particularly if it is in lieu of other priorities. But when it’s things of consequence? Make no mistake — procrastination can ruin your life.

Nothing has killed more productivity and human potential than the phrase, “I’ll do it later.”

It’s how your get-healthy plan turned into an 80 lb weight gain. It’s how you found yourself cornered between either a 15-hour study session or a failed class.

Our drive for instant gratification steers us away from being uncomfortable. This is due to deficiencies in our “lizard brain” — which isn’t optimized to perform in the lap of first-world luxuries.

A caveman had no reason to break his mammoth meat up into 5 smaller meals to help his metabolism. A beach body was the last thing on his mind. We don’t struggle for basic survival. This change has put us at odds with ourselves.

We let tasks pile up until they become too much. It becomes easier to just flush them all away and start fresh: we abandon the gym plan, take the bad grade, drop the class.

If our sense of urgency only kicks in when water is around our ankles, how can we ever hope to stop a leak?

Few words are more dangerous than “later”.

Just so that I’m not being too vague, here is my favourite trick to help with procrastination.

It’s called the five-second rule. If you feel stuck, try counting down from 5 to 0. Then watch, as you bounce out of your couch, roll out of bed, often before you get to 0.

The countdown taps into our conscious mind. It creates a sense of urgency. It’s a time bomb to laziness.

*This article by Sean Kernan was originally published in Medium