There are several things that couples tend to ignore in marriage that end up causing so much pain. Commitment to marriage is one ingredient that has not been fully-explored by partners in most marriages.

How serious do couples take commitment to their relationship? Most couples forget that commitment is an important ingredient to the success of the marriage. Sadly, many are oblivious of the fact that it is something that plays a great role in any relationship.

Mrs. Ify Enegide, a 39-year-old pharmacist is seeking advice on her predicament: “My husband’s attitude to me has a lot to do with how I feel day to day. His attitude to my work, failures and successes means a lot to me and he had always shown that he was committed to my well- being and success but all of a sudden all this changed and I am beginning to get confused, please help me as I cannot take it any longer and it is affecting my work negatively.”

Mrs. Enegide is not the only woman facing this kind of predicament as there are several others in her shoes but who have decided to take the situation in good fate and carry on with their lives.

Girls generally just want to have fun but all that changes when they become wives as they want love and support from their husbands so that they can be assured of the commitment in the marriage.

Sarah Felix, a 36-year-old school teacher says: “We have this notion that husbands never leave their wives. Unfortunately, times have changed as we are in an era where the sanctity of marriage has lost its integrity because some men never seem to value it. Commitment in a marriage is very vital as indeed every woman needs it to be assured of her husband’s commitment to her and the marriage.”

Mr. Jimoh Abdulrasheed, a 45-year-old accountant, says: “Whenever I give my wife all the attention she needs, there is general peace in the home and whenever I shift from that routine of giving her all the attention she starts nagging and complaining. Wives are happy when their husbands show love and commitment to the marriage. The marriage institution is being threatened more than ever before and this is because of the lukewarm attitude most couples have towards it.

When vows are taken they should be upheld and true commitment shown to make it a success.”
Marriage counsellor Hajiya Maryam Abdullahi, while commenting on the issue of commitment, referred to Mr. Stephen Harley, a marriage consultant, who says: “Women’s top six emotional needs are affection, conversation, honesty, openness, financial support and family commitment.”

Abdullahi adds that: “It is normal for every woman to feel bothered if her husband does not show commitment in whatever concerns her as this could hurt greatly. It is important that couples show commitment and support each other as every partner deserves the right to their partners believing and trusting in their capabilities.”

No marriage is smooth all the way as there are bound to be problems in one form or the other, but totally ignoring your partner and not showing concern causes emotional pain and stress for them. Every partner deserves the right to feel special and unique.

It is important for every partner to be supported and encouraged in terms of commitment in all aspects of the relationship. Whatever the situation in a relationship, commitment is vital and important but does not cost much as the pain and devastation lack of it may cause at the end of the day.