Social and political commentator, Alexander Thandi Ubani has thrown more light on the controversial tradition in Delta that forbids women from cheating or face severe consequences.
Many people have expressed mixed feelings since information filtered in that a certain curse said to be a part of the tradition and custom observed in some parts of Delta state forbids a married woman from cheating on her husband. Failure to obey this tradition results in the death of her children and husband.
More impetus has been added to the story since photos of Regina Daniels surfaced online showing her being initiated into womanhood according to Anioma culture and drinking from a cup given to her by her husband, Ned Nwoko.
Netizens are worried if the curse is true or not, as some will not want to marry from such a place.
From extensive research which I have gathered, I will present the facts to clear the air on some false information being circulated about this particular tradition. I will also tell you what I believe.
First and foremost, such a tradition is in practice - yes, when a woman married to a man from Delta state commits adultery, it will not only result in the death of her children, her husband also risks losing his life if the woman fails to confess. It is a very well known tradition in the state.
According to the tradition, the cheating woman's family will be struck with mysterious death, starting with her children, then ultimately to her husband. If she doesn't have children, then her husband will be the one to lose his life.
But, rarely does it reach that level, because when such curse takes effect, the husband of such a woman is likely to know and take drastic steps to save his life and that of his children.
This custom and tradition is popular among the people of Anioma (Enuani, Ika and Ndokwa/Ukwuani). I have also heard that it is also practiced by Isoko and Urhobo people of Delta state.
Traditional facts you must know:
1). In some parts of Delta, the curse is commonly referred to as Ishi/Ishia Ishi - confession of infidelity.
2). This custom applies only if the woman is traditionally married and her bride price paid. So, if her bride price has not been paid, nothing will happen to her if she cheats.
3).If the cheating woman cooks for husband with goodies or money gotten from her adulterous partners, then the curse will affect her husband.
4). A woman cheating on her husband cannot prepare food for him.
5). The man will be struck with swollen belly and legs. If the couple have kids, the kids will die one after the other mysteriously.
6). The man must be from any of the communities in Anioma - Ukwuani, Enu-Ani (Ibusa, Ogwashi-Uku, Asaba, parts of Igbodo, Ilah, Isseles, Idumujes, Onichas etc); Ika (Agbor, Umunede, Owas etc) and Aboh.
7). If the man is also from any of Isoko and Urhobo communities, the custom applies.
8). It does not affect a woman from any part of Delta state married to a non-indigene of Delta state.
9). The man can cheat with as many women as possible and nothing will happen to him.
10). Nothing happens to the woman and the men whom she is cheating with.
11). If she confesses, in some instances, she's expected to task the men she has been cheating with - if they are reachable - to contribute for the ritual to avert the curse on her family.
12). For the curse to be averted, the woman must confess and perform rituals to free her husband and children.
Conclusion:
This tradition/custom/curse is a concept from a misogynist mind and cannot stand modern day test. As an advocate of equity, I believe this tradition is set out to achieve one way objective - to keep the women folk at bay while the men have the sexual freedom they have always desired.
It is true that this tradition has helped keep most women who marry from Delta state from cheating on their partners, however, it will not be unwise to say that the gods who formulated this curse/custom/tradition were indeed lacking of wisdom.
How can you allow a man or men cheating with a married woman go scot-free, yet go ahead to punish the woman's innocent children and husband? It is a waste of punishment!
The curse should be for the woman and her cheating partners and should have nothing to do with the innocent husband and her innocent children.
As a millennial youth, I believe this custom and tradition is outdated and should never be included in our traditional practices. It does not accommodate the principle of equity. It is meant to subdue the woman while giving freedom to the menfolk to desecrate the marital bed with no consequences.
Finally, I do not believe in the efficacy of this tradition and custom. It is in my opinion a scare-tactics invented by our forefathers to keep their women at bay.
I will never encourage infidelity, but I believe a tradition/custom/culture that tends to subjugate one gender while giving another gender the license to engage in unwholesome attitude without any consequences does not mean well for the society.
It is left for you to believe what you want to believe. As for me, I do not believe in this practice.
Alexander Thandi Ubani is an Editor at Tori.ng
