The second “W” is weather.  During Winter time in America if you stay where the winter is biting hard in certain part  and if you don’t dress warm you will meet your  waterloo  your hands  will be frozen.   Illnesses like Novovirus, arthritis, cold, heart attack,  911 Emergency Medical calls and death of older people are common and this is the time when couples copulate, and funny enough after the winter most women have protruding bellies, so winter has its minuses and pluses.      

The third “W” is, hmm, my father sighed,  my father bowed  down his head  and said  “this particular  “W” has a prefix before the “W”  the prefix is  “bad” the “W” is Woman.  My uncle was a victim of a  bad woman in his life, I won't jump to why I did not hear from my cherished uncle who signed my Guarantor’s form, later I will tell you.

Lawrence, no honest people in this world, even if they are, they are hard to find.  The universe is full of dishonesty, the love of money and other worldly materials have altered the universe.  The Ministry of Education did approve that my fees be paid,  but was it paid? What happened to all the grant?  There are some people that we believe are  our Leaders or Managers in the office and people respect because of the position of trust they occupy.  Now you will be asking me  what this has to do with my scholarship grant?  The manager  in charge of government’s fund that everybody says “Baba o”, “Ranka dede”, and  “oga” who is richer than his income, does everything with impunity, who has many concubines outside and sleeping around with little girls he could have as his daughters and these girls have him as their sugar daddy because of money, and despite being a  civil servant  having more than ten houses with a fantastic bank account fatter than his department without any query.  How could people that we look up to as  mentors  be involved in fraud? 

Why did my parents and the Ministry decide to forget me and I never heard from anyone of them?  Where are the two friends that were calling me several times before I left the country?   Now, if a friend you haven’t seen for years suddenly comes across you one day and says good morning to you, please go out and check whether it is evening or night and ask him what he has been doing for the past six months?

The first day I landed in America I saw all the streetlights through the airplane window, the tarred roads look like paradise even if I have not been to paradise or hell before.   When I left the immigration section  I asked the airport security man to show  me the toilet, but  the man looked at me, and I repeated  and said; “ excuse me sir,  kindly show me the toilet”, he pointed to a room that was a few meters away, but  I saw  “WASHROOM”,  written on the door, I ran back and asked another person and I was shown the same room, yet not convinced I asked a lady selling assorted items  and she directed me to the same room.  I went in  and eased myself.

I was shocked to see the sparkling toilet. My brain and skull were rioting on how washroom suddenly became the  toilet.?   The way the seller looked at me was so funny and embarrassing  when I came out from the toilet,  so,  I  quickly passed by the woman and went to another small open shop where I saw a lot of people lined up.  This time around  I was very hungry and I  wanted to eat rice and  beans or beans and bread or  beans with cassava flour (gaari) While waiting for my turn, I noticed that those in my front were paying with  cards that looked like Identity card and luckily I had my High School Identity card with me, I was happy that based on Identity card there would be free food because I saw  “Special for Students  get 1 free”  boldly written on a board but other prints were too small to read which I didn’t bother to read.  I looked round to see what  other customers  were buying  but I did not understand what they were buying and  holding so when it was my turn I asked the man behind me to come forward to take over my position which he gladly did, probably he thought that because he was an old man with a walking stick.  I tried to watch what he bought, I saw coloured water  and small bread that would not be enough  for a-three- year- old child.  I moved away and called another person behind me to  take over my place again just for me to find out what they were buying. 

When it was my turn again, alas! nobody was behind me I was alone so the trick didn’t work this time around.  The attendant asked what I wanted I said rice with assorted meat, she looked at me and said “Nope” I smiled I said “Yes, yes,  how did you know anti Mope”? She said;  “what”?  She asked again what I wanted I said  bread and beans, she gave me small bowl of water with small countable beans!  I smiled and said thank you and she asked me how I would pay,  “do you have visa”?  I said yes, I got my visa from Ghana.   She looked around and said Pleaseeeeee!!!   I said ok,  cash!  I handed  =N=1,000.00 which I had on me to her.  She smiled  and  picked her cell phone and spoke to someone gently,  I did not understand what she was saying on phone because she was talking fast.  Within two minutes  one airport security man came around and asked me where I was coming from, I told him that I just arrived from my country and waiting for my friends Kunle and Olomitutu to come and pick me up and also that my new  school would also come to pick me too but  that I wanted to eat before leaving.   Please note that I couldn’t give out my Identity card again because I was confused.  The man paid for my food  with American Dollar before he left  he told me to stop embarrassing myself, I hurriedly left, even I was unable to eat the food because the coloured water which  I later got to know as soup looked like diarrhea.

The school officials  showed up, but none of my friends showed up even my uncle was no where to be found.  I was driven to school by these school officials.  I checked into a room given to me and was told to report at the registration office the next day.  The next day when I went for the registration bubble burst when I was told that no financial arrangement from my home country.  It was this day I got to know that when one is in trouble one’s local dialect or language will come out of one’s mouth!  I spoke in my dialect that “I am finished”. Lawrence, for the first time, I am revealing to you that I urinated on my underwear.   I was shocked to my bone marrow.   A shelter was quickly arranged for me, but after  ten  days I was sent out from  the shelter because I did not have money to  pay for the room, the school initially paid for the shelter for ten days because I was able to convince them that my parents or my home office would send money to me soon.  Despite the fact that I wrote a letter to my parents to contact the Ministry of Education on my behalf regarding the fees, but  no response from my parents till date. Things were not like today where you could pick a phone and make calls to anywhere in the world. 

My father looked at me and said, “Lawrence, before I continued  I would like to go and evacuate my abdominal impurities” and my dad stood up, before I asked  him what he said he disappeared but when he came back I asked, “dad where did you go”?   dad answered that he went to the washroom.  I had forgotten that I went to the washroom when I arrived at the airport.  I again asked dad "  why washing clothes at 3.00am  moreso, there were no signs that you went to wash clothes".  Now my dad answered that "I could speak impeccable  Oxonian English as well as American Slangs with American Language”  Dad explained to me that  Washroom  or bathroom is Toilet  in America.  I demanded to know  what  he meant by “evacuating abdominal impurities”? My dad laughed and said that would be my assignment to find out the meaning. My dad continued his story “My son,  do you know that a child that says to his dad that the mashed  cassava flour (eba)  his dad made has lump really wants to know  how his mother left the house?  My dad loves axiomatic expressions and also uses  proverbs and parables when talking, but It was difficult for me to grasp  all these. 

Poor, Hungry and Determination  (PHD) became my lifestyle and watchword.  Nothing like Work and Pray in abroad.  We call it Work and Pay your bills.  I spent good six years working under the table……., - “what is working under the table dad”?  I asked again.  Under the table means  working and not reporting your income to the government when filling your Return Tax, most people that do it are those who have no legal stay/ paper or  work permit  or those who want to be underpaid but such income will not be reported to the Federal Revenue  called Tax Office  when filing their taxes, unlike our country where one could meet uncle, sister, brother, niece and get what is called “dash” or “free” money, here  every cent must be reported to the government failure to report any income is tantamount to fraud and it is an offence one could be jailed.

I started working in a grocery store after the school kicked me out due to lack of fund.  A friend that introduced me to this company where I was working as a Produce clerk II  allowed me to stay  with him.  I met a Pharmacist older than me  who  couldn’t get a  job in his field watering the vegetables in the grocery store.  I was told of a  PhD holder in Mathematics driving Taxi cab and also a Medical Doctor who goes around to take pictures during ceremonies because he couldn’t get a job in the medical field.  Lawyers, Engineers, Economists, Accountants etc. wandering the street like homeless wanderers because No job!. You must pass professional examination before you could be allowed to practice your profession, this is a must. So failure to pass is automatic free entry admission to welcome to factory work which we call labourer.   Even Pastors, Imams  and others praying for people  must pray too to be called for labourer job to do. 

Abroad is tough!!!   Dont mind those people in our country bragging, here in abroad everything is well regimented. Everything goes in arithmetrical progression  not in our country where things go on in geometrical progression.  You must be able to speak good english without or with little accent.  Well,  I did  this grocery job; loading and unloading, packing and unpacking agricultural products  like what we call “kaya” or ”laborer” for six years before I could get money to enroll at evening school  to study History.   I studied for four years at the University and those from affluent homes from my place were not even better than me, some did not even go to school because they were getting free money from their parents but were womanizing, drinking and smoking around doing absolutely nothing. After my first degree in history I decided to go to Law school.  Unlike  our country where you could go to University straight to study Law and medicine, here you must acquire a degree in a Program  before you are allowed to study Law and Medicine.  Do you know that up till the time of my graduation I didn’t hear  from my parents even from my friends and uncle here?. My mind went to what we call Pull Him Down  (PHD) Syndrome we experienced back home.  I started thinking that someone in the Ministry was after me before I left, trying to block my success, hence their refusal to remit my grant.

Something happened to me one day while  I was walking to the lunch room, a man was coming towards me, but he quickly covered his head with the hood of his sweater and quickly walked past,  though it was cold and it was  winter time.  The street where I was living was on the main road, on my way to work another day, an elderly man looking haggard who had just been  given $5.00 by a passer-by was walking towards me holding his pant (trouser) that  hanging, as soon as I bent down to pick my pen that dropped this man covered his face and ran away, this happened seven times in  a row. 

There was another incident I would never forget,  one day I went to look for a job through an employment agency and I was sent to a recycling place where we were all sorting out broken plastic and bottles, a man came to join us at work, but as soon as this man arrived, we had not seen face to face because I bent down taking off my shoes trying to change and immediately I put my eye protection  goggle on, the man turned his back against me and left, he never came back.   I was baffled for a few weeks, but later I met these three people which I would reveal their identities to you in the part three of this story. 

My son, Lawrence, hmmm, do you know that a leopard never changed its colour?  Do you know that majority of our people living in abroad are living fake lives?  You see them on Facebook (though there was no Facebook in those days, but I will call it Facebook for you to understand properly), they overdress to attract and feel superior to others.   I attended a burial ceremony party organized by one of my colleagues, I was shocked to see how Nigerians were throwing money at each other! Dollar! Dollar!!  Dollar!!!  The next day I saw one of those throwing the dollars at the gas station where she bought $5.00 gas to fill her  brand new car!  I was informed one day that the lady was unable to pay for the car and the car was repossessed.  I will tell you where I saw the lady few weeks after.  Our people spend money in abroad like free money whereas their family members, friends, etc are suffering at home.  They do a lot of show off, whereas they dont even have the money. Some of these people have not gone back home since they arrived America because of economic inbalance.

The life in abroad is of two-folds – the serious ones and the unserious ones.  Many people sent their children to study  and live in abroad for  better future, but these children are not properly monitored.  While we have good ones there are also the bad ones.  Some of our people mingled with the bad people here and they kill their parents in order to inherit their property. I pity those rich people investing in abroad because some of their children would either kill them to be able to get these properties or  they become unserious because they rely on their parents' wealth.  Do you know that living in abroad  should open peoples’ eyes  to  civilization but some of our people still reason as if they are still living in the Stone Age or Mungo Park or Richard Lander age? Instead of some of our people to be grateful for the opportunities  of being in foreign country where their  social consciousness should be rising, and to think of contributing to  the growing urge to give back in innovative ways to their home country’s future and to the betterment of their society with the guiding philosophy to serve people but never!!!

Our people still believe that someone  “follow them reach here”, “someone is pursuing them” and majority of our people are still very gullible, they still believe that the Prophets/Pastors  could heal their sickness, solve their problems or  solve their marital/family problems they have forgotten that we are both human beings and that we both have problems.  I was told of a man who was on the phone sending messages to his mother to go and visit the “Chief Priest” (juju man) on his behalf to solve his immigration problem!  Most of our people would travel home and the next place of call is to see a Pastor or prophet  or the Juju man who will assist them to stabilize his/her marriage.  Such thing would not work for a woman who is always being rude to her husband,  denies her  husband sex, constantly harassing her husband and threatening her husband with police.  The husband too who  has no job  who depends on his wife and  running after ladies of different ethnic groups just for “variety” because variety is the spice of life as  his defense mechanism for doing that, going from evening  night party to night party, engaged in fraudulent activities, stealing cars and sending them home and now visiting Pastors or juju priest  that some  family members are after him?  

One must move with the progressive people in the society, be serious minded, be prepared to weather  the storm of life and avoid unnecessary waste of money on these archaic ideas or beliefs. I was shocked to hear that there are "Babalawos"  (Chief Priests)  in abroad.  There are many churches in every nook and corner here in abroad  and also asking for money! money!! money!!!  Miracles! Miracles!! Miracles!!! Ostenstatious lifestyles, fake it and make it life styles, fake life.   Ha!  My people in abroad again with the same home-manners.   Charity begins at home no wonder.  Where were/are these miracles when Phd holders, Lawyers, Medical Doctors, Pharmacists, Engineers, Professors, Accountants etc  who migrated here  are driving Taxis, working in the factories, doing menial jobs, frustrated and depressed? "I beggi- commot for road for me make I pass! Lie-lie all in the name of money- The thing wey money go cause hmm we never know" someone cried out one day so loud in a social gathering.  Another lady cried out immediately and said; "Religion is a big business in abroad, believe me or experience it and get finished by these sugar-coated  small-small pastors who are not up to your age who keep deceiving people around in the name of miracle, if it is that how miracle works....  look at the cars they drive, their suits and their wives' dressing this is another Nigeria where everybody is using brain to suck people  in the name of Religion" .

Lawrence, the time is now 5.00am!.  Go  back to your room and sleep.  Tomorrow I will continue Part 3, don’t forget to tell me the meaning of “evacuate my abdominal impurities”   Tomorrow we would talk about how we find ourselves in the  “Market of Arrogancy”, the identities of those three people I met, what happened to my Uncle and my two friends.