Back in the days, when it rained, children would run out to play. A few clothed, some half-clothed, but majority naked or barely clothed. They were just children. Nudity held no meaning for them and their sexualities were yet to be explored. Children of the time were innocent, oblivious to the pleasures of the flesh, uncorrupted and free. It was our way of life. Today, the story is not as simply and not nearly as innocent.
Since the beginning of the ‘summer’ holidays, many young children both below and above the puberty line have been sighted in public places like parks and restaurants, sometimes even places of worship, in attires that many have deemed too mature for their ages. These attires, described by some as provocative have become a source of concern for parents, teachers and leaders of society.
This trend has become quite alarming as holidaying children are all over the place trying to soak in the summer fun. Parents, who have no summer holiday cannot watch the children all day, and these children are run wild and dress the way they deem fit.
The age range for children exploring aspects of their dressing and later sexuality is growing wider and younger children are more exposed today. This allows for a certain laxity in the rules of dressing, especially among girl children.
Since the early 2000s, the start of the new millennium, body hugging attires, micro skirts, low waist jeans, saggy jeans became the trend among youths. Children began to more and more imbibe the western style of dressing. While a lot of people decried the trend, it was one that came to stay.
A certain blogger commented on the trend among young ladies. The blogger, who posted anonymously stated with great concern that the various styles of dressing like crop tops, halter tops, open back, low waist, spaghetti top, micro skirts and all the rest are causing a lot of devastating effects on the moral upbringing of children and youth in Nigeria.
As much as society focused on curbing the trend in youths, many (mostly children), fell through the cracks of that correction. Children today can’t be children, not with the way many of them are dressed by their parents.
The problem is so serious that even children at the pre-school and lower primary levels are taking to same styles of dressing.
A 21-year-old mom, whose five-year-old daughter was sighted wearing a ‘hot pant’ stated that her daughter had a hot body and was flaunting it. She said, “Omo mi jasi, you no see shape?” Meaning ‘My daughter is trendy, can’t you see her shape’? Quite appalling one may think, but hers is considered innocent enough in many quarters due to her age. According to some, she is just a child; there is no harm in having her dress that way.
In another dimension, parents seem no longer able to control what their children choose to wear.
Nine year-old Precious, was heard yelling at her mother for buying her an ‘ugly’ dress for her graduation ceremony. According to the family’s neighbours in Omole area of Lagos, the young girl looks quite mature for her age and she expected her mother to buy her clothes that were more ‘figure-appropriate’. She wanted a tube top that leaves the shoulders and neckline bare and a pair of skinny jeans.
For many parents, that scenario may ring a bell. If you are always at loggerheads with your boy or girl over their choice of attire, which some parents have tagged ‘Wardrobe Wars’ then this scenario is not as alien and uncommon as people think. It is an issue that has a high potential for becoming volatile if parents do not handle it properly. While some go to the extreme of enforcing or imposing what their children wear, other parents are lax enough to allow anything go.
The issue of dressing is like a two-edged sword; each side sharp enough to cut really deep. Just as parents consider their children’s dress code as indecent, the youngsters view their parents’ dress sense as too out-of-fashion for the modern child. It’s that serious an issue.
According to Olumide Sotayo, a father, the parents are to blame. “As far as I am concerned, if a child dresses indecently, it is not the child’s fault, it is the fault of the parents. As a parent, you tailor your children to whatever you want them to be. I have a four year-old daughter, and sincerely, if I allow her run wild, I know the kind of things she would love to wear. She is at that age where she wants to do ‘shakara’. But I always give her the talk that whatever you wear must cover your privates, and now, she tells me that she can’t wear certain things. So that is the consciousness I have put in her mind. Now she knows what she cannot wear out of the living room. When she has to go downstairs and she feels her outfit is not appropriate for outside the living room, she knows she has to change.
“So in the long run, the truth is that children really want to follow what they see on TV, especially from all the cartoons and children movies, that is what they want to copy. It is then up to the parent to let them know these things and where to draw the line”.
Aishat Craig, a new mother who just returned from the U.K is of the opinion that we are losing touch with our culture.
“Naturally, our culture as Africans does not permit indecency. Our cultures are different from that of the Westerners, and so our way of thinking should be different. First and foremost, we are Africans and that should be the first thing in our mind. As Africans, we do not dress that way. Those abroad dress that way because they can attribute it to season. In winter, they have to cover it all up, summer they open it all up to allow and let the sun in; Vitamin D. But we just copy everything.
Azeezat Adebayo a teacher in a Muslim primary school shared her experience. “I have a nine-year-old pupil in my class. I know that the only thing stopping her from dressing in a way that I would not like or approve of is the fact that she knows she is coming to a school that would not accept it. Both of her parents are doctors, and sincerely they are almost never around. I think she also has access to relatives that send her clothes from abroad, and when she matches and pairs them up, it looks like she is picking it from these fashion channels. She combines them so colourfully and perfectly. She can wear a micro-mini skirt, pink pop-socks and sneakers. On that she would still wear her hijab. Sometimes her parents are on call at night, and they do not return home until late in the morning around 11. So when she leaves the house there is no one checking what she has on. Those are the days she puts on her skimpy outfits. Otherwise, she dresses properly. In the long run, it is up to the parents.”
Pastor Ejike Osuji explained that, “As a pastor, I am tempted to say that the devil has permeated the mind of children of today. Because how come it is only the vices they want to copy. After all they see the way the wives of pastor dress. It is just sad. But I will blame the parents, after all the children do not go to the market to buy the clothes, it is these parents that do the buying. However, the number on culprit is our television sets and internet. My children know that they are only allowed to watch TV when I am around or their mother is. We watch what they see closely because we do not want them to turn out bad. A child’s mind is like a photocopy machine, they simply take in what they see, and when they see a strange attire, they want to try it out. So monitor your children’s use of modern technology, that is where all the influence comes from.”
Anna Ebiere Banner, former MBGN recently came under fire when she posted an almost nude photo of her three-year-old daughter with musician, Flavour while she wore a black swimsuit. People cautioned her asking that she should learn to cover up her daughter’s bare chest in subsequent photos. Others shared stories of the world being permeated with paedophiles, and the need for parent to be vigilant and careful with how much of their child’s nudity they share on social media.
A retired headmistress, speaking on paedophiles shared: “The idea of paedophiles in the first place is absurd. To be a paedophile means you have to be crazy. Even as adults, we are told not to provoke men. An adult can be provocative to the point that it would incite rape. The same thing speaks for the younger ones as well. We already have men looking at five year olds and say “she has a big ass!” They would say, “As small as she is her buttocks are already so big.” Some men can look at a child and notice that. Some of them are not paedophiles, but this is to tell you that indecent dressing has moved to the point where they notice it in children. Now when parents do not help out by helping them covering these ‘assets’ at that young age, it feels like they are just advertising them to the public.
“I was at a one-year-old’s birthday party and there were some mothers also in attendance and one was with her daughter. The little girl was pole dancing. The only thing she didn’t do was climb the pole. And her mother was seated right beside her. The little girl was wearing what we call a pair of tight bum shorts and a spaghetti top. A lot of parents were there and all the men noticed it. I kept thinking whether the girl’s mother was not around to caution her. I was shocked when her mother started dancing too and I realised no one could blame the child for her indecent act. She was only portraying what she had learnt. So paedophiles are an anomaly, but since we know the situation of the world right now, parents need to be more careful.”
What is even more worrying is that as these children grow older, their attires become more absurd. Many places of worship now carry bold signs, which read: Honour your God with your decent dress. This is a testament to the level which indecent attires have become rampant.
The ‘woke’ trend transcends places of recreation. Schools and other public places now have strict laws against indecent attires, but why not catch them young.
A Bible student who identified himself as Pablo said, “More pathetic to note, is that, kids at the pre-school levels are already dressing that way. The Bible says, ‘if the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?’ We need to teach children right from wrong early enough so that as they grow they can choose what is right and good by themselves. We are no longer teaching our children and it is sad. We are afraid to correct because we want them to see us as their friends and think we are cool. This ‘wokeness’ that we are shouting up and down will eventually be our downfall. You are not supposed to be your child’s friend, your job as a parent is to love, teach and guide.”
Jack Valenti, an American businessman said, “No one today knows what is indecent.” This is because many have forgotten the meaning of decency and in other not to grow morally decrepit adult, indecent dressing in children is a scourge that needs to be addressed.”
