Professor Pius Adesanmi is one of my favourite political commentators. The Diaspora-based linguist never fails to raise a smile out of me with his style of commentary on Nigeria’s oft-times dire political situations. A master of gallow humour, that one. Professor Adesanmi recent article titled ‘Air, You’re Under Arrest’ did not fail to make a similar impact on me as he lucidly presented his support-in his inimitable style- for the much-publicized #IStandWithNigeria proposed protest march championed by singer, Innocent ‘Tuface’ Idibia against perceived bad governance slated for February 6th, 2017.

Drawing on classical tales from the Bible, Yoruba, Medieval and Greek mythologies, Professor Adesanmi argued that those who are against the Tuface Idibia-led protest are but engaged in a fruitless quest to catch the Air, as musicians whenever they put on the toga of societal crusaders, “become existential threat to power” because of the powerful weapon that Music represents. Professor Adesanmi concluded quite movingly that any attempt by the President Muhammadu Buhari-led administration to stymie the Idibia Protest negates the very principles of the Nigerian Constitution he swore to govern and abide by on May 29, 2015.

Professor Pius Adesanmi’s views on the freedom to lawful protests in a democratic dispensation are unimpeachable. Where I however draw a line of dissent is the obvious manipulation of classical mythologies in the article in order to burnish his narrative. The classical stories of Orpheus and the Pied Piper of Hamelin especially struck a nerve with me because contrary to Professor Adesanmi’s version of these mythological tales, musicians are anything but honourable, selfless and altruistic ‘societal change agents’ as the learned Professor wants us to believe.

Here’s Professor Adesanmi’s version of the legend of Orpheus from the article: a fellow called Orpheus became renowned for his musical prowess after being given the gift of a golden lyre and taught how to play it by his father, the Greek god, Apollo. The world obeyed the command of his skills on the lyre; rivers, mountains, animals, humans and stones “all melted when he played the lyre”. Unfortunately, Orpheus lost his wife, Eurydice to an untimely death and he, bowed with grief, decided to travel to Hades (the underworld of Greek mythology) to retrieve his wife from there. Armed with nothing but his lyre, he journeyed there and so charmed the guardians of Hades with his musical skills that he returned from the underworld with his wife.

Sweet story, innit?

Think again!

Here’s the true story of Orpheus as told by the famous Latin Scholar, Sir Thomas Bullfinch in Bullfinch’s Mythology, a collection of classical tales from Greek, Roman and Medieval mythologies: Orpheus was a son of Oeagus, King of Thracia and Calliope, one of the Graces (8 beautiful sisters of Greek mythology). He was taught how to play a magical golden lyre by the god, Apollo who was then wooing one of his mother’s sisters (kinda like the cash gift you give to the nephew of the girl you are ‘toasting’) and he became so good that all of Earth’s creatures were charmed by his music. One day, his wife Eurydice was attacked by a Satyr (forest-bound creatures of Greek mythology, half-man, and half-beast). While trying to escape, she fell into a nest of vipers and suffered a fatal bite to her heel. Overcome with grief at this, Orpheus played such a mournful note on his lyre that all creatures and even the gods wept. On their counsel, Orpheus undertook a journey to Hades and so charmed Cerberus, the three-headed guardian dog of Hades and Persephones, wife of Hades, with his magical lyre that it was agreed that he returned back with Eurydice but on one condition: he should walk in front of Eurydice and never look back until they reach the upper world. As soon as he reached the upper world, Orpheus turned to look at her and she vanished-this time forever.

Impetuous musician, in his haste to set things right, Orpheus forgot that he was not to look back until they were both in the upper world!

Was Orpheus a hero? No, according to Plato. Yes, the same Plato. He believed Orpheus was a coward who instead of choosing to die in order to be with his “beloveth” rather mocked the gods by trying to go to Hades to wangle a deal with the gods through his lyre. Many classical scholars like Plato believed his love was never true as he never wanted to “die for love”.

This story is particularly allegorical of the Convener of the proposed protest march that has all but sent Professor Adesanmi spiralling down the mythological stairways-Tuface Idibia. Many opponents of the protest accused Tuface, like Orpheus, of not being a true patriot or lover of his country. They ask: why did Tuface Idibia not #StandWithNigeria when the thieving club of kleptomaniacs had Nigeria against the wall, and repeatedly raped her commonwealth to the tune of N17trillion (or $20billion if you are of the Emir Lamido Sanusi School of Missing Oil Money)? That’s just from 2010-2014.

They ask: didn’t Tuface Idibia; male, Nigerian and musician, on the day of his wedding to one Annie Macaulay; female, Nigerian and actress, received numerous cash and car gifts from these set of people who’d plundered our foreign reserve and all but left us fiscally incapable of weathering the harsh storm of economic recession? They wonder if Tuface is not to Nigeria what Orpheus was to Eurydice: a fair weather lover, one who would rather play sad notes on his lyre instead of joining his beloveth to make something better in the Hades his former ‘friends’ left Nigerians in.

Again, Professor Pius Adesanmi of learned memory alluded to the classical tale of the Pied Piper of Hamelin to illustrate the “invincibility” the Muses automatically bestow upon Tuface idibia and other musicians turned-social crusaders. Really, really? Prof?

Here is the Professor’s version again: in 13th Century Germany, the people of a small village called Hamelin were suffering from a plague of rats. Along came a musician who promised, for a fee, to rid the town of rats with his flute. The Pied Piper with some magical notes from his flute succeeded in the task but later exacted a terrible vengeance on the town for refusing to pay him the agreed compensation.

Awww.

This, however, is the real story: in 1284, a town called Hamelin was besieged by a plague of rats. A musician (the Pied Piper) swung into town and promised to set poor Hamelin free from the rats, for a fee. With his pipe, he led the rats away from the town to drown in a nearby river. Deed done, the townspeople refused to pay the Pied Piper (sounds familiar MMM subscribers, huh?). The Town’s Mayor even went as far as accusing the Pied Piper of causing the infestation in the first place in order to profit therefrom. Long convoluted story short, the piper in a fit of righteous hissy exacted revenge on Hamelin-by leading all but three of the town’s children with his flute, to drown in the same river that did in the rats.

Evil, right? Doesn’t exactly fit the narrative of the musician as a selfless, patriotic citizen, does it?

Once more, this classical tale seems to tally with the arguments of those who are opposed to the Idibia Protest. They wonder if, as being alleged, Mr. Innocent Idibia is not just throwing a hissy fit with the #IStandWithNigeria protest ala Pied Piper of Hamelin because his access to the town’s government  patronage has been blocked by a no-nonsense Change administration with no time or inclination to indulge the airy frivolities of musicians and actors.

The claim by Professor Adesanmi that Music –citing the documentary Amandla as evidence- was responsible for the fall of the Apartheid regime in South Africa to me was just the last straw. Haba Prof, joor o! That is nothing short of stretching the narrative too far! On that score though, I forgive the Prof; after all, myths and legends such as the ones copiously alluded to by Professor Adesanmi in his piece, are all about stretching the limit of the human imagination.

However, Truth must out…

Contrary to the Prof’s assertion that Music was the chief weapon used to defeat Apartheid, it is historically and factually true that the blood, sweat and sacrifices of the late Steve Biko, Walter Sisulu, Oliver Tambo, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the father of them all, Nelson Rohilahla Mandela, Madiba of blessed memory; with the support of equity-loving humans the world over, brought down the curtains on Apartheid in South Africa-all these while Miriam Makeba, Hugh Masakela, Yvonne ‘Chaka Chaka’ and others were singing, dancing and cavorting freely all over the world in the name of music.

Innocent ‘Tuface’ Idibia has every right to protest his angst and frustration against this government. Others also reserve the right to criticize and oppose the planned protest. These I understand. What I won’t stand is Professor Pius Adesanmi- who I have nothing but unending reverence for- cleverly manipulating classical mythology, quite wilfully and deliberately, to validate his narrative. I grew up reading Bullfinch’s Mythology and with all due respect, I refuse to allow my head to be shaved by Professor Adesanmi or anybody else, all in the name of “informed opinion”.

After all, I finish school.

Muhammad ‘Din Shehu is an occasional writer from Kogi State. Follow on Twitter: @dinstots